ICC! Yeah you know me!
Posted by Kharma on Mon, 14 Dec 2009
Excuse the cheesy title and whisper Mac for an explanation. So, the first wing of ICC is cleared and first impressions are positive. It's clean, its crisp, it smells nice, and its generally well designed. The 10s are about what you'd expect for a 10N raid instance and the step up to 25N is well thought out as its significant enough to make it feel "grander". Fun mechanics have been thrown in here and there, offering changes of pace for each successive fight. The instance itself its an orgasm for the eyes after ToC and the loot looks like someone other then one of the Blizzard Dev's 5 year old child scribbled a drawing on used toilet paper with a crayon. If there is one complaint though its the "scene" your required to sit through each time you want to engage Saurfang. One can only hope that Darth Vader will get tired of how lame it is and stop masturbating with his Sith powers long enough to choke the shit out of Saurfang.

I also want to take a moment to bring everyone's attention to a pressing matter of grave importance. I want to know wtf we can't use the giant fucking cannon on the front of the Horde ship. The thing's massive, the shells it has as ammo are bigger then two Taurens wrapped up together in intimate bovine burger making. So we can't angle to shoot the Alliance Gunship, fine, we'll just kamikaze the damn thing down like its an American carrier. DD is a testament to the fine use of living projectiles, or at least he would be if he'd managed to hit a 400 foot long flying wooden boat... But I regress, now your going to tell me that the door at the top of the tower is going to take XX number of days for the engineers to open? First, the engineers are clearly busy smacking the ground randomly, that seems less then useful, and second and more importantly we can't use the Gunship to blow open the door? Does the big gun on the front of the Horde ship even work? Who designed the fucking thing? P.E.T.A.? Well, I guess that would explain why its animal shaped.
Trick or Treat
Posted by Soulcatcher on Mon, 09 Nov 2009
After taking it a bit easy last week because of Halloween (after all, Eliss was getting drunk again and Babe was busy planning the annual baccanal for her coven), we got back on track on our path thru TOGC(25). We proved that we are more than just a trifling gnome, and Lord Jaraxxus was banished to the nether last night. Perhaps our arrogance will be our undoing, but everyone in the guild should feel proud of the further steps we've taken in our growth as a guild.

As a side note, the slow week around Halloween didn't prevent another accomplishment from occuring for the guild. A dedicated 10 man crew walked into TOGC(10) the Thursday before and not only got our first guild kill on Heroic Anub, but did it in perfect style with all 50 attempts still available. Congrats to all who achieved a Tribute to Insanity, an achievement that is appropriately named for anyone who is a member of our little band of nutttiness.

Oh, and a shout out to Blizz for making these kills useless for screenshots. We could throw a pic of a normal Anub kill up there and no one could tell the difference. Ah well, saves us on bandwith...
Steps Forward
Posted by Soulcatcher on Tue, 27 Oct 2009
The front page has not been updated in some time, mostly because of the <yawn> factor associated with the opening of the Coliseum. Each week a new boss opened up on normal mode, each week we knocked it down shortly after it opened. Onyxia came out, and the old gal isn't much less of a loot pinata than she was when she was ranked at level 60.

A couple of weeks ago, the decision was made to push ourselves beyond the normal mode encounters. Quite simply, there was no challenge to them for us. Pushing into 25 man Heroic Colsieum was a definite step up for us guild wide. Any chance of success required all of our members to look hard at their position and output in a raid.

Last night, that dedication paid off with a major step forward. Heroic Beasts went down, making us the 9th guild on Bloodscalp to make any progress in Heroic Coliseum. I'm extremely proud of this step that we took together as a guild. Its made even more enjoyable by the fact that we did it through strong internal growth of our members, rather than bringing in some short term hitters to push us over the hump.

So, congrats to all who particpated in the kill- step one is down, with more to come. Icecrown is on the horizon, and NGD is poised to be at the forefront of the attack on Arthas!
"Special" surprise guest post courtesy of hatchling Eliss.
Posted by Kharma on Thu, 23 Jul 2009


Once upon a time there was a giant hideous tentacle monster named Yogg-Saron. All of the other tentacle monsters made fun of him because he liked to swim in his own juices. Because he had no friends, he made an imaginary one named Sara, but this offended the other monsters because he was always playing with himself. So they dumped him on the first planet they could find.

Lonely at first, Yogg finally found a friend who wouldn't make fun of him. He named his friend General Vezax. Oh the fun they had. Apparently they also shared needles because Vezax is fat with gooey blood.

One day, No Good Deed decided to stroll in and ruin everything. Now Yogg is a cranky tentacle monster waiting for No Good Deed to come back so he can seek revenge for the havoc they caused.

And now we will take a moment to honor those who gave their lives so break up this unholy union.

Admetus: After open wound contact with some black blood, she contracted the herpes. Soulcatcher is still testing negative. In a later unrelated event she was hit by a bus.
Kharma: Bored to death.
Raevlyn: Mana starvation.
Nightwater: Killed by Mustrum for trying to mine a pure saronite vein.
Mustrum: Died in a saronite vapor trying to mine the same saronite vein.
Trebek: Stranded in Kel'thuzad's room months ago, he decided to drink the green water rather than die of thirst. Two runes of teleportation and some conjured water were discovered on his person.
An Orthodontist's Wet Dream
Posted by Soulcatcher on Sun, 05 Jul 2009


He may be the Beast with a Thousand Maws, but its hard to see how he actually eats anything with that underbite.

Has anyone ever explained why all powerful Old Gods like to spawn their avatars in the least hospitable areas? This one has roots over in some very nice woodlands- trees, eagles, insane furbolgs ready to provide dental work on command. Instead, it decides to masquerade as a screaming woman at the bottom of a saronite mine, then show up as the world's ugliest potato (clearly grown behind the Iron Curtain- in Soviet Russia, potato eat YOU).

So, when ten of us finally headed in to kill it last night, we had to go all the way down in to a dank, moist hole, and then spend the fight sloshing around in a pool of liquid. About halfway thru, we realized this wasn't water we were walking in. Yogg has been alone down there for a long, long time, and using the restroom in a prison facility is always a dicey matter. Still, we thought that alternative was better than the possibility of what he might have been producing while looking up Sara's dress for all those years. I mean, this stuff was knee high on a Tauren, and we had lady blood elves wading around in it.

So, another Old God has bit the big one, despite the omnipresent ass beams and tendency to swallow intact the folks trying to kill it. The chaos of this fight makes it one of the best we've encountered, and the kill itself was very satisfying. Now all that awaits is to do the same thing on 25s- oh, and to deal with the space invader who is trying to "re-originate" the planet like a Genesis device.


The Money Shot.
Posted by Kharma on Tue, 23 Jun 2009


That's probably the best killshot there has ever been and ever will be. Its got everything. Shiny metal bald head with a baby face within half of another head like some evil baby spawning from a demon. Its got flames. Who here doesn't like large indestructible robots with flamethrowers in their mouths, seriously!?! Finally, and definitely not least, nipples that put those African tribeswomen in National Geographic to utter shame. There's hardly even any boob, it's all that is nipple. The only problem is the eyes. Is that thing blind? Is it the god of the blind? If so how are the blind people suppose to worship it as a god if they can't see its complete awesomeness? Maybe that thing in the front makes braille discs that it shoots at blind people to spread the word of the one true Blind Robot Nipple god. Sure, they're likely going to catch the assuredly rocket propelled braille disc with their face but that's the price one has to pay for awesome.

Also, is it just me or is that Rae in the background with her secret ninja boyfriend and his man purse? I hear the whole ladyboy thing is "in" these days with the male Asian crowd. Not judging...just saying that's a littler weird is all. If you don't know what a ladyboy is do NOT google it. I warned you dumb asses about 2girls1cup and you googled the bloody thing anyways and look where that got you!

This is the part of the front page post when I get serious and keep it real so that you can lie to yourself and sleep at night so strap in...or take the straps off or whatever it is the hell you do when I attempt to make a small fraction of sense.

Last Night we managed to destroy both Mim and N.I.M.H., with the help of Green Beret Super Commando Ninja Rats of course (I know, bad start, fuck off the reference is awesome). Mimiron is one of those fights that you generally either love or hate. Personally, I'm in favor of loving it. Each phase instills a sense of accomplishment that crescendos with the killing of the final Voltron assembled motherfucker. The mechanics of the fight are likewise very engaging with frequent enough death risks to keep everyone on the tip of their toes for its length. One of the more refreshing things about him is also of course the fact that he isn't a troll or a demon or a magic carp that hates land pirates or even Rag the lord of fiery female tempers. Nope, hes just a simple robot with twisted motives and a desire to kill a shit ton of people for test results.

Here's the actual picture of us standing triumphant in front of said Mimiron.



p.s. I was going to include an entire section about the Blind Robot Nipple god fighting the Angry Female Pinnacle goddess for dominion over the whole world but I figured I didn't really want to be responsible for the resulting gory gonads. I think by keeping this a small isolated set of commentary I can limit the violence to only one individual.
As Promised.
Posted by Kharma on Mon, 15 Jun 2009





Of course the ass munchkins who took the pictures couldn't standardize the size or anything, that would make sense and we just cannot have that! As you can very possibly not see we killed the worlds largest rare Blue Land Crab. Sure it was an endangered species and some of our female members might have taken the time to kick him in his crabby balls. But the choice was simple. His life and the possibility of keeping the species alive or only mildly useful phat lewts. So of course we took the mildly useful phat lewts.

As you undoubtedly have noticed we also took a video of our one and own Macavity in a bikini running. Simply put Mac didn't like even the notion of us making a video of her in a bikini. So the result is us making the evident video on the fly as we bravely ran away from Hulk Smash Mac Attack. Now the reason for the short loop is simple. The ground might or might not have ambushed us as we so bravely ran away. The resulting pile of flesh was quickly caught and only by hastily disguising myself as replica of Leonardo da Vinci's David did I manage to escape the resulting carnage.
One thing at a time.
Posted by Kharma on Sun, 14 Jun 2009
Time for a minor update. Better late then never right!? Least that's what some of the suspicious women in my life say...anyways. This front page hasn't been updated in quite some time and I'm not just talking about front page posts. What's with that picture? How old is that? Was that picture taken in beta...RETAIL beta? Oh, that reminds me, don't click the Members or Raids buttons on the menu above. The Members section will be done any day now. Dark is slaving away at it as we speak, true tale! As for the Raids button, that's simply a portal to another reality, click it at your own peril.

Shit, almost forgot about the actual update. We've got a couple of kill shots from the 10 mans that we'll have up in the very near future from Ulduar. All in all a well designed and generally fun instance and while we won't break any records we're starting to play around with C`Thun v2.0 and so far having a blast doing so.

We are accepting recruits.